Marshmallow

By Anonymous -
Marshmallows
WALT: Show Not Tell
WALT: Use More Characters In My story
It was a dark and spooky Friday night. There were no stars in the sky and you couldn't see a thing.the trees were swaying side to side for a while and then it stopped. We slowly crept outside so there was no noise. We started the fire and it was going great. Dad and my brother needed the toilet so it was just me by the fire on my own.
“Crick, Crack”
The bushes were shaking and then when I looked back at my marshmallows they were gone. I put more marshmallows on and then cooked them. I stared at the bush to see if anything was there and then I felt a tug and then my stick was gone. I Grabbed the bag of marshmallows and ran. Something was chasing me and then it was gone. I looked back in front of me and it was there. “Ahhh” I ran back to the fire to see what it was  and when its face went into the light I say what it was. IT WAS A VELOCIRAPTOR IN MY BACKYARD!!!
I dropped the bag of marshmallows and ran inside. The Velociraptor grabbed the bag and ran away.  
That taught me not to stay outside on my own in the dark eating marshmallows.
THE END

Comments

  1. Unknown9 September 2014 at 19:14

    What are your NSL's? I think you should keep WALT: show not tell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11 September 2014 at 08:41

    Dear Byron. Marshmallows disappearing outside. I know who could have been the velociraptor. I enjoyed you short story. I like to know more. Love Godparent.

    ReplyDelete

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